You’re Turning Into a Penguin. Stop It!

While lying on my back to make an angel in the snow,
I saw a greenish craft appear! A giant UFO!
A strange, unearthly hum it made! It hovered overhead!
And aliens were moving 'round in viewing ports glowing red!
I tried to run for cover, but a hook that they had low'r'd
Snagged me by my overcoat and hoisted me aboard!
Even then, I tried to fight, and though they numbered many,
I poked them in their compound eyes and pulled on their antennae!
It was no use! They dragged me to a platform, tied me up,
And wired to my cranium a fiendish suction cup!
They turned it on and current coursed across my cerebellum,
Coaxing things from my brain tissue, the things I wouldn't tell 'em!
All the math I ever learned, the numbers and equations,
Were mechanic'ly removed in this brain-draining operation!
My escape was an adventure. (I won't tell you what I did.)
But suffice to say, I cannot add, so ask some other kid.
- Watterson

Well, this blog entry is a bit special! Today, June 29, marks one month of being in Japan. That’s a pretty long time. I should get presents.

I do get something though… it took a month, but my welcoming party is on Friday. This means I’m likely gonna have to sing some karaoke. I hate singing. I dunno how much they have for English songs, but does anyone have song suggestions for me, besides the very obvious choice? Uh huh! Uh huh! The kinda bad thing about the welcoming party is that Saturday is Canada Day, and CJP was planning to meet in Tokyo at the Maple Leaf Pub… so it’s too bad I miss that, but on the other hand, I save some money, and get two days to sleep in.

Originally I was going to divide my blog into different topics, but I changed my mind. I’m gonna do my blog linearly in chronological order, but I should warn you now, I plan to go off on tangents a lot… it may be hard to differentiate between topics. I’ll also be integrating a lot of bad jokes, especially math ones, into my blog.

Yeah, work’s a bit boring. The person that is kinda directing my project has been away for all but one day in the past 2.5 weeks. And I did everything asked (I think), so I spend some of my time either learning Japanese online, or surfing Wikipedia. This week I read about game theory, space elevators, ravenous bugblatter beasts of traal, and somehow found my way to the lame mathematical jokes page while I was at it.

I’m hoping work improves, currently I know waaay too much about everything I’ve been asked to research and check. I seem to have been forgotten about too, my supervisor talked to me this morning asking to meet in the afternoon, between 3 and 4, then totally forgot, or got busy, or something… /sigh, maybe tomorrow. I keep hoping they give me a task with an actual goal, so I can start working and prove that I’m not completely useless (which may or may not be true). I’m actually hoping things improve after my welcoming party. I haven’t really seen my coworkers outside of work, maybe karaoke will help everyone become more social… which will lead to more contact with me… which will lead to more stuff to do?

Wow, the idea of going chronologically kinda went out the window. Let’s go back to last Friday. Nothing happened, I went home, and then slept in. Saturday I explored downtown a little bit, then spent the night studying Japanese. And then Sunday was a bit more of an adventure.

Ly says hi to all y’all CJPers in Japan. He’s a sexy [guy]! (Sorry Ly, there could be minors reading this).

Ok so Sunday, I meet up with Anton very early in Osaka, and we head south to Wakayama to visit Keith. It’s kind of a gray, rainy day. But we had fun anyway, cause Everything’s Free in Wakayama! We get off the train at Keith’s station with our 120-en tickets. We figured we’d fare adjust when we got there, only there was absolutely nobody at the train station. No fare adjust machine, and just a box to put your used ticket… So we meet up with Keith and start walking, and stopped by a little shrine. Anton talks to the lady there, who prints off some sheets (in English) about the shrine, as well as offers us free umbrellas, since they were left there by other visitors. Very nice of her.

So me and Anton hadn’t eaten yet, so we go to a burger place at Wakayama station. The place is called Lotteria, and is apparently known for its so-called "Straight Burgers". We each got some cheese straight burgers and received a bonus point for free stuff. Not as good as my bonus points, but a point is a point.

Oh yeah, changing the format of my blog a bit. Blogger’s a pain, and for some reason, whenever I try to upload my pictures directly it doesn’t work. So lately I’ve been hosting my pics (well, Anton’s mostly) on another site and linking them over, but as you could probably tell, the text and pictures don’t line up very well. So I’m gonna stick all the pictures at the bottom of each post, and you can click on them to see the big version. How Handy!

Back to the topic… we don’t really have a goal in mind, so we take a train to a small little fishing town/village/thing. We walk around the pier for a bit. They have really nasty bugs, cockroach-like, crawling everywhere. But it was nice to see the other side of the Pacific. Lots of fishermen on the pier too.

So we head back, and we see an onsen. Since Keith hasn’t been to one yet, we figure this would be a good opportunity. The onsen is basically on the roof of this building, and consists of only two baths! It’s way uncool compared to the one Uncle Masa took us to. But still ok I guess. Nearly everyone is basically heading out when we get there, so we got the baths to ourselves. The inside one was very hot, the outside one was a lot cooler, and quite nice with the rain again… As we get out, a big group starts coming in… I still don’t know if that was Gaijin Perimeter in action, but it’s possible…

Two other interesting points, one of the other men was smoking in the locker room. People smoke everywhere here, it’s very different from Calgary, where there’s tons of rules about it. Also, as we were leaving (and after we got dressed luckily), a cleaning lady comes into the locker room… while there’s naked guys inside… and where she can fully see the baths. I had read about this (Dave Barry again), but it’s still really weird to see.

Another tangent coming up, since I mentioned Dave Barry. Carin actually mentioned this at training week, I doubt anyone remembers, but here’s how to interpret what a Japanese person is saying and what they actually mean.

What They Say and What They Mean

	What They Say	What They Mean
	I see.	No.
	Ah.	No.
	Ah-hah.	No.
	Yes.	No.
	That is difficult.	That is completely impossible.
	That is very interesting.	That is the stupidest thing i ever heard.
	We will study your proposal.	We will feed your proposal to a goat.

Ok, back on topic. We go for lunch at a very Japanese restaurant. We order different kinds of fish, mine was rather sweet surprisingly. We also got mochi udon, which was pretty good, but a lot of food for me. I gave some away. Then we went exploring in the rain, walked for a good 20 minutes, hit a dead end, and walked all the way back. We took the train back to Wakayama and wander around a bit more. Eventually we go for dinner at a Chinese place, and then get lost on the way back to the train station. We arrive just in time to get our train, and take a long, uneventful ride home… I think I’m missing a lot, but I can’t remember. I had fun though.

Oh yeah, we passed by a beach with surfing while we were on the train. I definitely want to try that out this summer.

I Never Made a Mistake in My Life. I Thought I Did Once, but I was Wrong.

So I guess onto the work week a bit? Hmm, well, interesting things to blog about… another 2h meeting on Monday. I love the 2 hour meetings on Mondays, they’re very productive. Interesting to note is that you can crack your knuckles very loudly during the meeting without anyone caring. Also, my company has stretches every morning for 5 minutes… which I find a bit dumb, but oh well. I usually arrive halfway through and just follow along to the last minute.

Also, being bored allows me to challenge myself. With a sharp pencil I am able to write 12 lines of legible text in the space of one line on regular lined paper! I write small ><. I also doodle a lot. I got a set of pencil crayons free with my cell phone. You don’t get free pencil crayons in Canada. Oh, I also got paid! Not my full salary, cause I hadn’t worked a full month at cut-off time. But payday is payday, can’t complain. 420-en in taxes though, nice! I was worried it’d be a lot more. Hmm, what’s new around the dorm? I washed down the garbage can outside my room… Ly could smell it from his room, hadn’t been cleaned since before he got there. I have to clean the kitchen before Byron gets here, it’s not in the best shape at the moment. A trip to daiso is very necessary one of these days. Maybe on the weekend. I’m also feelin a bit homesick at this stage. With the time change it seems I don’t talk with you Canadians much anymore. And it’s not easy talking with people here (they don’t understand me); the people I talk to most I only see on the weekends. It’ll get better once I can speak better, I’ve been trying quite hard to study (at work), so hopefully it’ll all sink in soon. But you can help… by sending me presents! Or emails actually. Or just leave me some comments on my blog so I have something to laugh about during work. But don’t worry, I’m a bit homesick but I won’t get depressed. I’d hate to be the cause of a Shoe Event Horizon or anything. Certain Death… That Will Kill You!


So yeah, big plans in the next month. First, Gion Matsuri (Gion Festival) is coming up in July. From what I heard, the festivities take place throughout July, with the big parade on July 17th. I think a lot of people are coming down from Tokyo and the Kanto region, so it should be a lot of fun.

I also get a 5 day weekend at the very end of July. I think it’s a company thing, nobody else I’ve talked to gets it. And it’s not listed as a national holiday or anything. I’m thinking of maybe going down to Tokyo for the weekend, since I haven’t seen it yet (Stupid missing Canada Day, but not worth going down for one night). The only downside is the weekend before is a one day weekend. But I can live with that!

During Obon Week in August I’m considering going down to Okinawa. It’d be a lot of fun, but a little pricy. But probably worth it overall. Then the next weekend (if I can get the Saturday off work) is the Mt. Fuji climb. I’m heading down Friday night, should get there after midnight sometime. We’re going to Fuji-Q Highland, which is one very cool looking amusement park. I’ve seen videos of it (I’m a fan of Amazing Race, if you saw the last season, they went there on the finale), looks pretty intense I must say.

What else is there to mention? Hmm, I’m thinkin of getting a new camera. The ones here are quite impressive, big screens, tiny, good quality, so it’s probably worth it for the 9 more months I’m here. I also really need some speakers for my laptop. But I just got paid, so shopping spree! Wooooooo! Nah, gotta be careful on spending too much, gotta save for Tokyo/Fuji/Okinawa.

Well, time for me to end this blog, I must study my Japanese. I’ve been reading over grammar and vocab, as well as studying Kanji online. It really helps if you can come up with creative ways to remember what the symbols are. Sometimes I feel I’m a little too creative… but whatever works.

Dave also gave me two books dealing with Kansai dialect. One of the books has some unusual phrases to learn. Along with a complete chapter on smack talk ("He’s got a fat [arse]"), but a chapter on phrases related to love, including "I wonder if I’m pregnant" and "My son eloped with the girl next door". There’s a lot, lot weirder too, if you want a list, email me I guess?

And due to popular request, here’s the picture of the attractive policewoman:

How Am I Supposed to Write My Blog When I'm Trapped on the Ceiling? It's Impossible.

Explorers are we, intrepid and bold,
Out in the wild, amongst wonders untold.
Equipped wit our wits, a map, and a snack,
We're searching for fun and we're on the right track!
- Watterson

Continuing on where I left off, I stayed at Anton’s Saturday night, along with Vincent and Keith (and anton was there too). Somehow I got cold during the night, so I slept on the floor underneath my futon… I’ve had better sleeps… I’ve had worse too though, stupid mosquito.Eventually we all woke up, and decided to go get breakfast.

Anton’s Old Man Luring Gaijin Powers (OMLGP) benefited us again! We were discussing plans outside a coffee shop, when an older gentleman came out to usher us in, saying what a great place it was, and to come in and eat! Only he wasn’t an employee, he was a customer! Turned out good though, toast, hard-boiled egg, ham, potato salad and ice coffee (I still don’t like coffee, bleh).

Next on the agenda was climbing to the top of Fushimi-Inari. Anton was sick last time, so I was the only one to have been there… We climbed to the very top this time, which took us quite a while, since we took some detours, but it was fun. Once again there were high schoolers doing endurance training on the stairs up the mountain. Anton got some very good pictures, here’s one or two:






We came back down and went to get some food. Anton and I got the same thing. Anton asked what it was, and he thought the waitress said fox o.O… When he asked her again, "Is this fox?" she confirmed that it was indeed! No, kidding, she laughed a bit, and said, no, no, it’s tofu. So yeah, cold tofu and noodles in a very sweet broth, wasn’t bad, but quite different.

By this time it was time to head to Kyoto Station, Vincent’s bus was leaving at 4. Only Keith’s ticket got stuck in the ticket booth! So Anton and Vincent went on ahead, I stayed with Keith. We hopped on the next train and went to downtown Kyoto, hoping to cross over to the subway line and take it down to Kyoto Station… only we weren’t really sure where the subway line was (I take responsibity for choosing the route). We walked for about 15 before we found it, then met Anton at about 4:15… he was waiting for about 25 minutes, he took a much much shorter route not involving getting lost in downtown, and made me feel rather dumb, but oh well.

So Vincent departed from us, and we continued on our adventure by going exploring around Kyoto Station. We pass by a large hotel, and Anton sees an attractive Japanese Policewoman. He asks to take her picture, but she seemed hesitant… and eventually said no. There were a lot of cops around, and it probably wouldn’t look too good for her. So we move on, then start thinking why there’s so many cops… at least one on every street corner! I suggest some sort of famous person passing through soon. So we pass by another cop and ask him, turns out I was right, in an hour a Japanese prince was to be passing through.

Not wanting to miss an exciting opportunity like that, we decided to hang around for awhile. Keith and Anton figured this was a good idea to do something that would be considered illegal in Canada.














I should also mention there was a cop standing about 6 feet away at this point. We also saw a Japanese tour guide, even in Japan they have their flags to direct tourists.



So went back to where the prince was passing by, and met a good looking Japanese girl. Anton of course asks for a picture, that seems to be his favorite Japanese phrase :P. They take a picture of us too on their fancy phones. And we got pictures of the prince too, he passed by with quite a large escort.













Kinda reminded me of the one scene in Kill Bill, with Lucy Liu in the anime scene as the assassin on the roof… I mention this, and we look up. Sure enough, there’s cops on the roof for security purposes.

So we go back to visit the policewoman, where, after waiting for her for about 15 minutes (she did tell us to come back after the prince and she’d let us take a picture), we got some of her posing for us.

At this point it was about time for Keith to head home, so we took him back to the station and found a good route for him to get home. Sounds like he had some good luck on the train! Anton and I went wandering around looking for a place to eat.

Anton’s OMLGP worked again, only not in a good way; an older man came up to talk to us, asking if we wanted to take his picture. Anton does, then takes one with me in it as well. Then the man tells us he’s homeless, and if we had any money, since he posed for us. Anton tells him we don’t really have any to spare, since we’re students, so he left us… Wow, we really seem to draw attention to ourselves, I’ve never heard of any panhandling in Japan, not to mention such creative panhandling.

Dinner time, we pass by a little sign saying dinner bar, and some stairs leading down, and Anton and I, the adventurous type, go right ahead down. We’re greeted by some very cute Japanese girl waitresses, who seat us right away, then the owner comes to talk to us. He gives us a sheet of paper, explaining that he’s very happy we have come to visit, but that he can’t speak any english besides "Hello" and "I love you"! He was extremely cool, he was palm reading at other tables, managed to tie a piece of wire into a knot inside his mouth, and was wearing a Tom and Jerry sweater! He also showed us the notebooks he had collected… All the foreigners that come to his restaurant he has sign a page in his book and write/draw whatever they want. He’s had people from all over the world, a lot from Europe, North America, Australia, and Asia.





















We order a beer each and our meals, Anton got Tuna and Mushroom Spaghetti, I got Grilled Chicken. Anton was also quite happy about the seating arrangements, he was facing the two cute waitresses. We chat with them too, find out their names and what they do. The food was quite good, and we even got dessert (Sesame Ice Cream, since it was the waitress’ fave ^^). Anton got one of their emails, so that they can practice their english together!













Time for me and Anton to head home, we go back to the station and take the Keihan line home. Another adventurous weekend complete!



- - -- --- ----- -------- ------------- ---------------------

Ok, so I'm combining two posts together just cause there's a lot to write about, and I'm four days behind on the Kyoto one, so please forgive the length...

Music in Japan Part 2 - If I Wanted American Music I Wouldn't be in Japan!

Music in Japan, as I have mentioned, is a mixed bag. A lot of what you hear wandering around is very old American music that you don’t really need to hear (Funkytown), or just downright bizarre (Accordion music at work, or the Midori theme song that was written by the Devil and sung by Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light).

However, the actual bands (least the 4 indie bands we saw on Saturday), were really good! I guess being in a band isn’t exactly a well respected career in Japanese society, where everyone is expected to fit in, so if you’re going to be in a band, you had better be good. But then again, I've only heard 4 bands so far... gotta check out Tokyo before I make a professional opinion.

I don’t particularly like the American influence however. In general, I much more enjoy Canadian and British music than American (with a few exceptions), So like the second band’s whole "What!" thing really worsened their songs… and the fact that they did it every single song, well… I think it would be better for the bands to find their own style, rather than trying to copy the United States, but maybe that’s just me.

If It Ain't Broke, It Doesn't Have Enough Features Yet!

Shoes are loud! I got dress(y) shoes to wear at work, but they’re extremely loud and clunky. I can hear myself coming a mile away. And I can hear other people from half a mile. I quite enjoy walking completely silently at all times, and find it funny when I can sneak up on people, so this is fairly annoying… ah well.

The person beside me at work likes to talk to himself. Normally I would find this annoying, but he has a very cool voice. It sounds like Vincent Valentine! Check back in a few weeks to see if it’s still cool though, or whether I'm annoyed yet.

I’m not the newb anymore. I got called to a meeting yesterday, where my boss introduced the new guy! Though to be fair, I haven’t seen him around since, so maybe he’s in a different department? And either way, I’m still the lowest on the pagoda, since I don’t speak Japanese very well (or English either, for that matter).

Also, I got paid! (I hope… I should probably double check that…) Hurray, now I can buy a big screen tv and a stereo system and the pet gecko that I always wanted! Or I could save it for travelling to Tokyo for Canada Day!!! Wooooo!!!

14A Alert for the next paragraph!
Hmm, I’ve received multiple requests (from the same one individual) for confirmation that there was some scary equipment at the Onsen. So, to clear things up, I shall describe! Lucky all of you! Here goes… if you have long hair, it could get caught in the equipment that cycles the water. That would be scary. Burning yourself with the hairdryer equipment, also scary. I guess if you were very very clumsy and slipped while showering you could manage to strangle yourself with the shower equipment? Ok, enough! I’m out of ideas, and it was lame, but my point is, I wasn’t considering your feelings and I’m sorry I didn’t take notes of what I saw in the Onsen. Maybe next time…

I Like Maxims That Don't Encourage Behavior Modification

Onto more attractive topics, Anton and I got our cell phones yesterday, though I won’t post my email or phone number on here for obvous reasons. We looked around for Vodafone since we heard they were cheapest, but the only one we saw was closed, so we went to AU. We got a family plan, which worked out quite well, but we were in the store for an hour, signing all the paperwork and activating the phones. Rather fancy though, if I get a mem stick (Stupid Sony and their expensive Duo sticks), I can play music on it. Haven’t looked into what else it has yet.

Umm, afterwards Anton was pretty hungry, so we went into the Tomato Cooking Club and faked dumb, asking if it was a restaurant (obviously not, but there were girls our age inside, so, yeah, you know…). Nothing much came of thatthough. After asking a few random peopleon the street for a good place to go, we found an isakaya (Japanese pub). A very loud group of girls and guy was beside us, Anton wanted them to invite us over, but they never did. He even tried to get the waiter to ask how old they were. Crazy Foreigner.

Both of us were too tired to try and decipher the menu, so we asked the waiter to bring us whatever. (Note to others: while in Canada, this may be an ok idea, since you’re unlikely to get much weird, in Japan it’s a different story. But being the brave adventurers that we are…). So yeah, first dish was sashimi, which was quite good. The second dish, mmm some sort of shellfish! This did not look appetizing to me, and I wouldn’t have considered eating that in Canada, but I haven’t refused to try anything yet… It was squishy… Last dish was some sort of pasta with peppers, sausage, and asparagus, quite tasty. We pay the bill and leave the bar. Once again, too late to head back home, so I crashed at Anton’s for the night.

Not an overly eventful night, but the Tomato Cooking Club, the oyster things, and Anton acting like a dumb foreigner like myself to get a family plan kept up our adventurous streak.

Anyways, heading home from work now, where I have the night to prepare for the inevitable Accordion Afternoon. Next blog after next adventure!

Weekends Don’t Count Unless You Spend Them Doing Something Completely Pointless

I made a big decision a little while ago.
I don't remember what it was, which prob'ly goes to show
That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential
Even though it often might appear inconsequential.
- Watterson

So another fun weekend has passed, and once again, I get to brag bout the wild and crazy events that took place! And then since it’s three weeks today that I arrived in Japan, I shall update with my thoughts and impressions.

Ok, onto Osaka Adventure Vol 2!!!!! And there was much rejoicing.

Saturday morning started exactly the same as last Saturday morning… well, besides meeting Uncle Masa… I met Anton in Nara at 10 in the morning and we both went down to Osaka. At Kyobashi Station, we ran into a slight snag in our plans; We had arranged to meet Keith, Boon-hau, and Tongxin here at 11, but failed to realize the size of the station. Me and Anton split up, and Keith managed to find me, and fortunately when Anton returned we spotted the other two as well.

Tongxin wanted a camera, so we decided to go to Nipponbashi quick before we had to meet Vincent. Wandered around in the stores there, and since I was wearing a red shirt in front of a red Vodafone booth with a red phone, I may as well advertise for them.



Off to Osaka station, a little late at this time, and a little lost too. After taking the wrong train, we arrived 40 minutes late. Luckily Vincent was still waiting for us (Sorry bout that Vincent), so finally we were all together. Now for the adventure to start! If only we had a plan…

Everyone was very hungry, so we decided to find somewhere to eat. We found a food court type place, and looked at all the restaurants. There was what appeared to be an All You Can Eat Desserts restaurant… 90 minutes to consume all the sugar you can… I must take note of this. We went to a smaller place where you sit at a counter to eat… we all got the same thing ><. So we got some stares and laughs from the other customers, but it was all good. Went for dessert at a café a few doors down (sadly not the all you can eat place), got some cake, and Keith, well, the cake came with a plastic wrapping around it…

Anton took a picture of the girl that worked there. He seems to take pictures of everything, which means he’s slow at processing and uploading everything, which means it takes me longer to steal his pictures!!! Dang him!!! Nah, I’m very grateful that he’s letting me borrow them for my blog.

We explored the nearby mall. And then I heard what I had been waiting for since the first week in Japan… they were playing Funkytown o.O. Craaazy… Then we started heading back to Nipponbashi (Tongxin still needed her camera), but we got distracted by arcades. Keith and Boon-hau battled to the virtual death at Dragonball, and Keith won… before he was challenged by a Japanese Highschooler!! Boon-hau took over for Keith, and was beaten, but it was a close match. Though the student may have just been playing with Boon-hau o.O.

We took some pictures in the picture booth and then spent a good five minutes decorating them all… unfortunately they turned out very very small when they printed. Vincent played some Initial D racing, and Tongxin and Vincent played the drum game. Vincent’s a madman, he’s very good. It was around 5:30 around this time, so it was time to head to the big event.
Anton and I saw a band called Kaede playing near Osaka station last week (I may have blogged about it), and they were playing again this weekend! So we decided to check it out. In classic Link and Anton style, all we had to go by was the name of the place they were playing, Esaka Muse, and the time (Anton forgot the map). So we headed to Esaka station and asked one of the workers for assistance. Took the guy 5 minutes to find the place on the map, but was eventually able to help us.

Esaka Muse was basically the fifth floor of some sort of store maybe? We get up there, looks pretty small, there’s a dozen young Japanese guys hanging around. And we’re a gang of six gaijin… we got some looks yes. We go up to the counter, and I’m not sure exactly what the conversation was, but apparently it was more expensive than we thought, 30 bucks a ticket since we didn’t have reservations. But fortunately, the guitarist from Kaede, Atsushi, recognized me and Anton, so we got a reservation and 5 bucks off the ticket price.

Now, we weren’t sure what we were getting into exactly, we weren’t really expecting a concert to be held on the fifth floor of a store… Anton and I were up for anything as usual, but we would have felt bad if this was not a concert, and the others paid for nothing. Buuut…

We go inside, there’s a small stage (good sign), about 5 small tables, and a counter around the back corner with a bar. There’s probably 15 or so people inside, me and Anton were (of course) the only white guys. And we were pretty fly… or something. Anton proposed a toast for being the first white people to set foot there… which may or may not be true, but this was an extremely out of the way place, not a tourist attraction whatsoever. It was a place for indie bands to start out, basically, so most people in the audience were either very big fans, or friends of the band.

The first band were quite good. Their name was Re:ing (which doesn’t make sense to me either)… and according to their sticker, they advertise themselves as "Non Genre Pop" (I always thought pop was a genre, but what do I know). The band was made up of three guys, guitarist, bassist, and drummer, and they were quite good. Keith bought their CD.



Nobody was super close to the stage at this point… except for one brave soul. He was getting his groove on pretty good, dancing close to the stage with some very good moves! I was jealous of his mad skillz. Oh, perhaps I should mention, he was about 5 feet tall, and about 65 years old. The bands and the fans were very nice to him! Anton got a photo of him while he was taking a break… Some of the younger guys were copying his dancing moves too.



The second group (don’t remember the name) was decent, but waaay too American influenced… Every song the girl singer would shout "What! What! What!…". Very dumb, that’s what, but I guess to be expected. American music is everywhere in Japan, and not necessarily the good music either. Third band was better than the first two, they were called Wedding… (Yes, I use a lot of … when I type, but that’s actually part of their band name). The lead singer, female, had a very good voice. Anton and Boon-hau each got one of their singles CDs.

Yay! Kaede is next! By far the crowd favorite, people were standing right next to the stage, and kinda punching the air while cheering, guess that’s the thing to do here. And three guys were getting a little… rambunctious? But that’s the thing to do at rock concerts everywhere. Anyway, Kaede played really well, even coming out for an Ankoru (encore)!







When we left the concert Chii was in the lobby area. She remembered us from last week, and thanked us for coming, and we got a group picture!




This is getting very long… like Anton’s blog long almost, and I’ve only wrote about Saturday, so I’ll speed through the next part. We went for dinner at a Ramen place, and the only eventful thing was while we were waiting to be seated. A nice looking Japanese girl was leaving the restaurant, and just as she passed us, Anton said, mostly to himself, "She’s cute!"… The girl turns around, smiles, and thanks him!

Anyway, Boon-hau and Tongxin left to go to their dorms, and we headed back to Anton’s place in Nara. Got to the stop 2 stations from Anton’s and the trains had stopped, so we had to cab it home.

I shall return with installment two shortly, perhaps later tonight, so stay tuned!

Mmm Japanese Jolly Ranchers.

It’s Difficult to Comprehend How Insane Some People Can Be… Especially When You’re Insane

(Another Friday of accordion music will make anyone crazy)

My tiger, it seems, is running 'round nude.
This fur coat must have him made perspire.
It lies on the floor - should this be construed
As a permanent change of attire?
Perhaps he considers its colors passé,
Or maybe it fit him too snug
Will he want it back? Should I put it away?
Or use it right here as a rug?
- Bill Watterson

So many good titles I could use for today’s blog. I mean, I definitely needed one to do with insanity, but I’m sure it comes as a surprise to nobody that I have a list of a dozen good insanity quotes I could use. I chose this one though, simply because I’m not the only crazy person who thinks adventures are a good idea, no matter what they involve. So if you don’t already know what’s coming, here goes… Anton and I went to the Onsen with Kaitani-san, the man we met on the train last week.

After he wrote Anton a second time, we had to make a choice… we could lie, say we were too busy to go, we could ignore the email and look like rude foreigners, or we could go along with it. After all, gotta try an Onsen at least once, and this way we have a guide so we don’t draw attention to ourselves. (Haha, yeah right, two white naked foreigners in an Onsen, not drawing attention to themselves!) Besides, Japan is very safe, unlike Canada. One guy Anton knows spent 5 weeks hitchhiking Japan and had no problems. And also, we have a great story to blog about.

Anton wrote Kaitani-san (after this point I’ll refer to him as Uncle Masa, just to be consistent with Anton’s blog) to arrange a meeting, then he told me the plan when he got home around 8. Of course this left me 10 minutes to pack and run to the train station in the pouring rain if I was to meet Anton on time. Unfortunately I made the mistake of assuming rain = cold like in Calgary, and brought a jacket; when I got the train station I was wet and sweaty. But no worries, I’d be bathing soon anyway o.O.

Met Anton at 10 to 9 at Takanohara station in Nara. We both couldn’t help laughing at what a weird situation we had gotten ourselves into. It’s pouring rain, 10 at night, work the next day, and we were going with someone we met on the train to a place where we would be bathing naked with other people.

Aah, well, I didn’t come to Japan to work 9 to 5 every day and sit in my dorm the rest of the time. I came to have fun, have an adventure, and experience Japanese culture! And yes, this adventure does turn out for the best, and though I don’t have anything to compare it to, going to an Onsen at night in the rain seems like a really good time to go.

Maybe this is a good spot to describe an Onsen. I’m sure none of you in Canada have been to one, and probably most of the CJP hasn’t yet either. The place we went to was half Onsen, half Sento. Onsen is the outdoor hot springs, basically made out of stone, while the Sento consists of the indoor baths. The shower facilities are indoors as well. The total bathing area would have been about the same as a medium sized swimming pool. The inside baths were interesting, one had magenta colored water, another had seats with water jets shooting at you, another was filled with very cold (17C) water. There’s two sets of baths, one for each gender, and I’ve read that the genders switch every day or so. I mean you switch baths, you stay the same gender!!!

Hahaha…ha… ha… yeah… Lame joke courtesy of “Dave Barry Does Japan”. If you want an educational, informative guide to Japan, this isn’t your book. This is a non-fiction book about him, the Average Joe American guy, going to Japan with his family for three weeks. It’s a funny perspective on Japanese culture, I highly recommend it.
Edit: Managed to find the first chapter of the book online, if ya wanna read it, go here:
http://www.sdss.jhu.edu/~szgyula/szabolcs/davebarr.htm

Anyways, Onsen are extremely popular in Japan. Some cities (Beppo is one, I believe) are known for their Onsen resorts, where people go on vacation… yes… to have baths...

So I should probably mention this now. Everyone who knows me knows I’m rather quiet and shy. I’m also rather skinny, and my friends in Calgary make fun of me lots for looking rather young… so bathing naked with other people is something I would never even thought about back in Canada. I’m remembering a certain party at a cabin last summer, where I was the only one fully clothed, while other people (male, but they’ll remain nameless) were on the trampoline with only a toga on and nothing underneath. Of course, I was completely sober surrounded by people who were far from sober, but still, my point is I’m quite shy. So this was quite the experience for me. And yes, I know this is worthy of another “Cute” comment, grrr…

Continuing on with the story, Uncle Masa met us at the station, and we talked with him on the way to the Onsen. We found out he has a family, with a son (19) and a daughter (20 or 21, he couldn’t remember), so that makes everything quite less creepy. He also told us about Onsen, some of the rules and what it’s like. He asked if we had any tattoos. In Japan, tattoos are a sign of the Yakuza (Japanese gang), and Onsens don’t want gang members hanging about inside.

When we got there, we locked our shoes in a locker, then got a key to another locker upstairs and went to the change rooms. I guess locker room would be more appropriate, not really changing into anything except your birthday suit. Also, apparently you don’t wash before you get into the tubs like I had read, you just rinse yourself off. But perhaps if you’re going yourself it would be safer to wash first before getting in. You can also take a facecloth in with you, but you have to wear it on your head when you’re in the tub, it can’t go in the water.

We go into the Onsen outside first, and sat on a little rock bench in the bath. I was right beside the rock where the hot water comes out of, so it was toasty warm. After talking for a bit, we went inside to actually shower (Uncle Masa offered to wash Anton’s back, which sounds weird, but is actually normal in Japan. Anton politely declined however.), then went into the maroon bath and then the jet baths. I challenged Anton to see who could stay in the cold bath the longest. Anton won I think, I was quite freezing, I have no insulation on me. Masa had to leave for a few minutes so me and Anton went back to the outside Onsen for a bit. After we see some bamboo mats on the side that you can lay on. We decide to try it out, and I must say, it was really nice, with your eyes closed and the warm rain falling on you.

After getting out, Masa tells us it’s customary to have a drink after bathing. Anton offers to pay but Masa refuses, and buys us each a coffee milk. We talk with him for over an hour, about many different things. Finally we head back to Takanohara station, where we say thank you and goodbye to Kaitani-san. By this time it was 11:43, and the only way for me to get home was to fly according to Anton, so I stayed at his place for the night. Nothing else eventful happened, I got up at 7 and took the train back to Kyoto for work. I got to my dorm with about 5 minutes to spare before heading to the office. It was a good thing I had a bath the night before.

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Hmm, other events this week:

Brett vs the Bugs: Round 1
On Wednesday night I had a fight to the death with a mosquito. I wake up at 2:30am from a nightmare about itchy hands, when I realize, it was NO NIGHTMARE!!! 5 bites from one pesky mosquito, it bit my back, chest and hands without me rolling on it and squishing it. I’m allergic to mosquito bites too, I swell up huge and itch for days. I wake up, turn the light on, and spot the sucker… and smash it with my pillow. In its death it still manages to spite me… by staining my sheets with my own blood!

Today had me taking measurements for use with the root canal machine at my company. This meant that I had to work with decayed, extracted human teeth for a few hours, mmm exciting and not creepy. And yes, another Friday afternoon with 3 hours of accordion music.

This week I’ve been doing a lot of soldering as well, working on the production of some of the units at my company, which I spent 3 days doing. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but the soldering iron is hot and it’s quite warm here.

I got my Denshi Jisho today (electronic dictionary). I still gotta figure out how to work it, the instructions are in Japanese, but it has an English interface and a stylus pen, so you can draw Kanji you see and it’ll tell you the translation, how handy!

And finally, the weekend ahead looks quite exciting, I’m meeting with a bunch of Co-op Japaners, we’re exploring Osaka again, perhaps going to the Kaede concert (if we can find our way there). So I’ll have more to blog about in a couple of days!

The Conversational Equivalent of an Out of Body Experience

I think I felt an earthquake yesterday! I was on a pedestrian overpass, next to a train station, listening to a rock band perform, with people jumping up and down… hmm, maybe it wasn’t an earthquake o.O.

But anyway, that’s later on, I prefer to write my adventures in semi-chronological order so as not to confuse anyone (including myself).

First, I should mention work this past week… but not too in depth, I don’t want to violate the confidentiality agreement in my contract (or bore you all, this blog will be loooong)… I have 4 themes I’ll be working with during my 10 months here, and the first is improving upon a video memory circuit board. Only I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing. My first assignment is to check over the board, the circuitry, the signal, the VHDL code… only it’s not a very big job for the time I’m given to work on it. So maybe I’m doing something wrong? Or maybe I’m just prostar? I’ll let you all decide! I’m also helping a co-worker on one of his assignments, which involves me analyzing a nasty circuit diagram and figuring out what’s goin on.

Had another Monday meeting today, which means sitting for two hours, listening to things I can’t understand, and mostly trying not to sleep. Also, I’m supposed to describe what I did the past week (in Japanese).

Work’s not bad, it seems very independent, so I’m never sure if I’m going about it the right way. Anyway, not much happens after work during the week, I get home between 5:30 and 6. They tell me to leave if I’m not gone by then, not like poor Anton, who works till 9 every night. I have decided to devote 1-2 hours every night to learning Japanese… and I try to learn a bit at work too online.

Now to the good part of my blog… Osaka Adventure Vol. 1!

On Saturday Anton and I, armed with everything but my camera and a plan (both would have been good to have), went to Osaka for the day! First off, I would like to give a big thanks to Mr. Anton for letting me steal his pictures for my own use! So anyone reading the planetcjp blog gets to see the amazing pictures twice, lucky you!

We decided to meet in Nara instead of Osaka, seeing as how neither of us know Osaka at all, and didn’t want to get separated before we even met. So I went down to Yamato-sadaiji station and then we both headed towards Osaka.

We had our first… umm… experience?… within a few minutes of leaving; an older man (probably 50ish) started talking to us on the train, practicing his English. He asked where we were from, where we worked, our hobbies, all good. He said he had been to Canada (Banff of course). Eventually the topic turned to Onsen (for those who don’t know, Onsen are hot springs that you basically go in to bathe… naked… with other people. They’re supposed to be really good, and I’ll have to try one sometime.) . The older guy told us he likes to visit the Onsen once a week, and that since Anton lives close, he should come with him sometime! Perhaps on Sunday? He even offered to pick Anton up! Now coming from North America, this seems rather disturbing, but maybe it’s normal in Japan to be asked by strangers to go to Onsen? Thinking of how weird this was kept us laughing all day.

*Note: Asking the people at my dorm, and Anton asking at his work, this is considered weird even for Japan. Just so you know…

Next we went to Nipponbashi, Osaka’s electronics district. Interesting place, saw a store that sold miso paste, another that sold old photographs. We passed by a bookstore, Anton decided to go in. "Seems like most of the books in this store are about travelling" he says… look up, I says. The shelf above is loaded with a lot of porn books. Porn is rather, umm, accessible here. People had stands set up on the street with porn videos. Normal video stores had large cardboard cutouts of the very famous Razor Ramon Hard Gay. And yet, all their porn is censored apparently. Very odd…

We wandered around there in circles for a few hours. Anton needed some camera supplies (lens case and mem card), and he needed to change some dollars to Yen. Not sure where the bank was, he asked a lady at the department store, who was nice enough to take us halfway across the mall to the foreign exchange bank! That’d never happen in Canada. We also found Kitchen Alley (least that’s my name for it)… a long back street with every store selling miscellaneous cooking and kitchen supplies. Anton suggested that if I ever get fired from work (say from breaking the confidentiality clause), I should open up a sausage stand in Kyoto! It’s a great idea of course, Anton even found a good apron for me to wear! He suggested the blue, but I think the orange one woulda been better.


Eventually we decided to head more downtown, to Osaka Station.

This was an excellent idea! Just outside the station, on a large pedestrian overpass, were a couple Japanese rock bands giving a free live show! We stayed to watch for well over an hour (there were 2 bands, not playing at the same time, unlike some places in Japan. Speaking of which, anyone know where the park where all the bands play in is? I love live music (except Country).). Anton took way too many pictures, but got some good shots (below) and I bought the one band’s (Kaede) CD, and even got my picture taken with them! Very cool…


































Kaede is having another live show next Saturday in Osaka, me and Anton are thinking of going, if anyone in the Osaka area wants to join…

Next we went for lunch… Anton tried to force me to finish, but as all who know me know, I have a small stomach, /sigh. Was good, I got katsudon, but raw egg tastes a bit weird. Oh yeah, you order by vending machine, then take your ticket to the counter, I thought this was quite cool. Then we went to the Osaka Science Museum, which was a bit lame… not very unique, and we couldn’t read anything anyway. And having taken three years of electrical engineering, I didn’t learn anything. But we got some good pictures (of me sticking my head in a magnetic field).















Near the museum we saw some semi-engrish, the following street sign:














Now at first glance you may think this sign means "Ok, if you’re with children, hold their hand"… but then you notice, hmm, it looks like the girl is either struggling to get away, or perhaps dancing? Her dress is also quite short. Then you notice the weirdest bit; the man has tentacle arms! And they’re unequal length! And what the heck’s he wearing?! No, something’s not right here! Not right at all!!!
Anton says "Some signs are better left uninterpreted." But what’s the fun in that?


Anton wanted to stop at an internet café to check his email, hoping Tongxin (from the Co-op Japan program) emailed him. Tongxin works at Sanyo in Osaka, and she was supposed to have arrived a few days before. We were kinda hoping to meet here in Osaka…
But first, we saw this fancy pants bit of Engrish outside the Metro Media Café:




By the way, the only Special Memories Anton got was getting ripped off…390 yen just to check his email.



Still completely without a (logical/workable/sane) plan, and without an email from Tongxin, we did what any normal person would do… we went to her neighbourhood and try to find her randomly! What? You say that’s not what a normal person would do? You’re right, sue us.
So yeah, after asking around where Sanyo was located, we headed to where we thought Tongxin may be. Got near to the Sanyo building and actually passed by the dormitory… so we went floor by floor seeing if Tongxin’s name was on any of the doors. I told Anton he gets 50 million bonus points if his super Random Meeting Gaijin Powers led us to Tongxin.

No luck at the dorm, but Anton won 30 million a few minutes later: A few doors down was a man outside a restaurant, Anton asked if there were any other Sanyo dorm buildings around. He explained our situation, and it turned out that Tongxin may have been there the previous night! The man knew someone who worked at Sanyo. He called the person, and let Anton talk to her; turns out she knew Tongxin! Wow, the likelyhood of this is… wait! Was there an Infinite Improbability Drive nearby? Was that creepy street sign warning us of Zaphod Beeblebrox? Am I going off on some tangent here?

Anyways, the lady (Tomoe-san) actually came down to the restaurant (she lived close) to talk to us in person. Unfortunately, she couldn’t contact Tongxin and wasn’t able to tell us where she lived (for obvious reasons), but we gave her a note to give to Tongxin. We invited us to have dinner with us, she declined dinner but stayed and talked with us while we ate. She spent nearly 3 hours talking to us, teaching us some Japanese while we helped her practice English. It was very cool.

The restaurant was also quite good, very small, 3 tables and a bar, but extremely nice inside. It’s actually owned by Tomoe-san’s mother in law… even more coincidences! Dinner was the specialty, basically fried, squid filled doughballs. Not really something I’m used to but managed to eat it all, it was pretty good.


















By this time it was well after 9, and a long trip back home. I didn’t have much chance meeting curfew even, so I stayed at Anton’s for the night.

Two weeks down, 40 more to go… aaaah, time’s going so fast! So much to do!

Oh, side note, Music in Japan!!!
Music in Japan is quite unique… some of it (J-pop or J-rock) is quite good, but there’s a lot of music borrowed from the US… let me recap the most interesting musical selections.
The Electronics Store Theme Song – Written by the devil maybe? Pure torture!
Auld Lang Syne – Yes the New Year’s Song, I heard it in Joshin (similar to Future Shop in Canada).
Ice Candy! – We saw this ad in a store, it had very annoying music plus one of the weirdest videos ever… and it looped every 10 seconds o.O
My Grandfather’s Clock – In Japanese, playing in my dorm lobby at lunchtime…
And the most important… my office has music playing in the background. A lot of it is American music, minus the actual lyrics (just the music). I’ve heard (at least once):
Culture Club (Karma Chameleon and Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?), Queen, Disney (Whole New World, Under the Sea), Uptown Girls, and the Macarena!
Also, Friday afternoon had me listening to 3 hours of accordion music… /cry.

Second side note, cause Anton forgot... we saw our first really big person on the train in Osaka. He was big enough to be a sumo wrestler... and he had a very funny haircut too! But he was too far away to take a picture...

Third side note, which involves me making a bad joke… but since Anton has already posted it… In Japan, certain train cars are designated as ladies-only during rush hour. As many of you know, there has been a problem with ladies being groped on the train when it’s super busy, so these trains were set up to reduce the problem. This sign is on the platform so people know where the train cars are.



I suggested that that would make a good welcome mat for Anton’s apartment ><.

It’s now Monday night, and the World Cup game is on, Japan vs Australia. Sounds exciting, think I’ll go watch for a bit. Next blog probably next Sunday, after Osaka Adventure Vol 2.

What Fun is it Being Cool if You Can't Wear a Sombrero?

Luck Can't Last a Lifetime Unless You Die Young

Well, it's now Sunday night, and it's been a rather eventful weekend! Let me now recap some of the highlights... Ok, Friday night Ly and David took me for Yakiniku. David even paid for me as a happy b-day/welcome to Japan dinner! Which was very nice of him. Went back to the dorm and spent a few hours playing Battletoads for the NES!!! For those of you less enlightened, here's a screenie:



On Saturday I met with Anton and Clement (from the Co-op Japan Program) and we toured Nara. We went to Kofukuji and Todaiji temples. Todaiji was amazing, we thought the gates (below) were impressive, then we get into the temple grounds and actually see the temple (also below). We don't have stuff like that in Calgary. Inside the temple is home to the second biggest Buddha statue, as well as some smaller statues, like the menacing figure also also below.































Hmm, two interesting things... there is a rather large deer park inside Nara. Clement and Anton both thought this was very cool, as the deer were extremely domesticated, you could pet and feed them, they'd walk along the sidewalk basically begging for food. Coming from Calgary and living 5 minutes from a provincial park, I thought this was a little... odd. As I expressed to my friends... "They're Deer!!!"

Also interesting was the first realization of my "Gaijin Power"... a group of 7-8 junior high girls started waving and saying hi to us, and even wanted a picture with us! It was hilarious! No picture for you guys though, we were holding up traffic on the walking path and decided we should get going.

Wandered around Nara for a bit, and then went to play Pachinko! Pachinko is a lot like slots, only weirder, and money goes very fast. Basically you turn a knob and try to get balls into this little hole, and when you do, slots start playing in the window above, and if you win you get more balls. Ly won 200 bucks (20k yen) the first time he played, lucky bum, and Clement won 50 bucks... I lost 10 :(. Don't think I'll be playing again, I used up all my non-existent beginner's luck.
On a side note, gambling is actually illegal in Japan, but that doesn't really stop anyone. See, in pachinko, you don't win money, you win little cards and a cookie (mmm cookie)... and when you're done playing, you go around to the back where there's a guy who (shockingly!) buys cards for money!!! Well, not a guy exactly, but you stick your cards in the slot, and a minute or two later, when you open the slot, there's money inside! It's like magic!!
On a second side note, I would have trouble working at a certain electronics store in Japan... Japanese stores seem to have theme songs, which is ok, unless the song is soooo bad that within 5.8 seconds you'll want to run out the door screaming in agony. I never actually did that, but I wanted to. But I will never go back to that store again, so I don't think it's a good way to bring up the company's reputation. But what do I know?

Oh yes, Clement feels the need to take a picture of every different kind of bottle he drinks in Japan... Even if it means laying down in a train station to do it. Crazy foreigner... here Anton feels the need to kick him in the behind:



















I also got the famous picture of the melon soda bottle from Clement:
























Moving on... went back to Anton's place for a bit. The lucky bum has 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, and his own bathroom and laundry facilities. But he has to take a train and bus to work, so I guess I'm not so bad off. I headed home around 10 (I have a curfew) so I missed what sounded like an interesting party, held by Clarissa (Co-op Japan Alumni), who lives near Anton.

This morning Anton was feeling a bit ill (sore throat), so me and Clement went exploring Kyoto. First we went to Fushimi-inari, which is a temple up in the mountains in eastern Kyoto. This temple was absolutely amazing. There's a path that winds its way to the top of the mountain and back down, and along the way most of the path is lined with literally thousands of Torii gates! It was amazing how many there were! Very pretty...



















Then we went to eat lunch in downtown Kyoto, but didn't explore downtown much... we took a scenic (ie long) detour through Gion and area to get to Kiyomizu Temple. This temple, far up the mountains of Kyoto too, had some very nice buildings and quite the view of Kyoto.






















Went to the imperial palace, but unfortunately it was closed :(. Here's the gates.



















Hmm, better finish writing, the ones who are still reading this are probably getting bored too. We tried to go to Nijo Castle, but got there exactly as it was closing. So we returned to Kyoto station, Clement went on the Shinkansen back to Tokyo, and I went back to my dorm... So that ends my exciting journey for the weekend...

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So, today marks my one week of being in Japan! I've written about what I did, but haven't written about my initial impressions yet, so here goes...

There are some difficulties for me living in Japan. There's a lot to get used to. Food is a big thing, there's so many things that are different from Canada. I've made an effort to try everything so far, including squid and cow's tongue (two things i've never had before). I've made an effort to eat more too... if it wasn't for the miles and miles of walking every day I'd probably gain weight. The bathrooms are hard to adjust to too, ie the squatting toilets and communal showers.

Some things are also quite difficult due to the language barrier. Shopping is hard; I can't read what anything is, I have to guess... and ordering food in a restaurant is a challenge; not only do I not know what it is, but I also can't pronounce it half the time.

I also feel like I stand out everywhere I go... because I do stand out. It's kind of a double edged sword. In Canada I always did my best to blend in. Half the time my friends didn't even know I was there. But it's neat to get the attention some times, just because I a foreigner.

There's some other things that are really neat too. I get to see and do and eat things that don't exist in Canada. The train system is amazing; not only are the trains on time, but there's different speeds of trains that stop at different stations, but there's 8-9 different train lines to switch between. And it all runs perfectly. Also I'm average height!!! There's so many people everywhere (and I'm just in Kyoto). You see tons of school kids all in uniform, which is weird to see. There's temples and shrines and neat things to see everywhere. I'm learning a lot (about Japan, but also about myself) and I'm really excited about the next 10 months here.

I have some fears and doubts too. I'm concerned that I won't be able to do the work presented to me at my company. I'm worried that I won't be able to learn the language at all and I will have to spend the next 10 months struggling like I did this week. I know that I shouldn't worry, that I'll be fine, but it's a bit hard to see at the moment. I'll just have to try hard and hope for the best.

Here starts my second exciting week in Japan. I'll continue my blog after my next exciting adventure, hopefully it won't be as long and rambly as this one... So, until then!

Oh yeah, I love to hear your comments, feel free to leave one if you like/dislike my writing, have suggestions, or just want to say hi.