You’re Turning Into a Penguin. Stop It!

While lying on my back to make an angel in the snow,
I saw a greenish craft appear! A giant UFO!
A strange, unearthly hum it made! It hovered overhead!
And aliens were moving 'round in viewing ports glowing red!
I tried to run for cover, but a hook that they had low'r'd
Snagged me by my overcoat and hoisted me aboard!
Even then, I tried to fight, and though they numbered many,
I poked them in their compound eyes and pulled on their antennae!
It was no use! They dragged me to a platform, tied me up,
And wired to my cranium a fiendish suction cup!
They turned it on and current coursed across my cerebellum,
Coaxing things from my brain tissue, the things I wouldn't tell 'em!
All the math I ever learned, the numbers and equations,
Were mechanic'ly removed in this brain-draining operation!
My escape was an adventure. (I won't tell you what I did.)
But suffice to say, I cannot add, so ask some other kid.
- Watterson

Well, this blog entry is a bit special! Today, June 29, marks one month of being in Japan. That’s a pretty long time. I should get presents.

I do get something though… it took a month, but my welcoming party is on Friday. This means I’m likely gonna have to sing some karaoke. I hate singing. I dunno how much they have for English songs, but does anyone have song suggestions for me, besides the very obvious choice? Uh huh! Uh huh! The kinda bad thing about the welcoming party is that Saturday is Canada Day, and CJP was planning to meet in Tokyo at the Maple Leaf Pub… so it’s too bad I miss that, but on the other hand, I save some money, and get two days to sleep in.

Originally I was going to divide my blog into different topics, but I changed my mind. I’m gonna do my blog linearly in chronological order, but I should warn you now, I plan to go off on tangents a lot… it may be hard to differentiate between topics. I’ll also be integrating a lot of bad jokes, especially math ones, into my blog.

Yeah, work’s a bit boring. The person that is kinda directing my project has been away for all but one day in the past 2.5 weeks. And I did everything asked (I think), so I spend some of my time either learning Japanese online, or surfing Wikipedia. This week I read about game theory, space elevators, ravenous bugblatter beasts of traal, and somehow found my way to the lame mathematical jokes page while I was at it.

I’m hoping work improves, currently I know waaay too much about everything I’ve been asked to research and check. I seem to have been forgotten about too, my supervisor talked to me this morning asking to meet in the afternoon, between 3 and 4, then totally forgot, or got busy, or something… /sigh, maybe tomorrow. I keep hoping they give me a task with an actual goal, so I can start working and prove that I’m not completely useless (which may or may not be true). I’m actually hoping things improve after my welcoming party. I haven’t really seen my coworkers outside of work, maybe karaoke will help everyone become more social… which will lead to more contact with me… which will lead to more stuff to do?

Wow, the idea of going chronologically kinda went out the window. Let’s go back to last Friday. Nothing happened, I went home, and then slept in. Saturday I explored downtown a little bit, then spent the night studying Japanese. And then Sunday was a bit more of an adventure.

Ly says hi to all y’all CJPers in Japan. He’s a sexy [guy]! (Sorry Ly, there could be minors reading this).

Ok so Sunday, I meet up with Anton very early in Osaka, and we head south to Wakayama to visit Keith. It’s kind of a gray, rainy day. But we had fun anyway, cause Everything’s Free in Wakayama! We get off the train at Keith’s station with our 120-en tickets. We figured we’d fare adjust when we got there, only there was absolutely nobody at the train station. No fare adjust machine, and just a box to put your used ticket… So we meet up with Keith and start walking, and stopped by a little shrine. Anton talks to the lady there, who prints off some sheets (in English) about the shrine, as well as offers us free umbrellas, since they were left there by other visitors. Very nice of her.

So me and Anton hadn’t eaten yet, so we go to a burger place at Wakayama station. The place is called Lotteria, and is apparently known for its so-called "Straight Burgers". We each got some cheese straight burgers and received a bonus point for free stuff. Not as good as my bonus points, but a point is a point.

Oh yeah, changing the format of my blog a bit. Blogger’s a pain, and for some reason, whenever I try to upload my pictures directly it doesn’t work. So lately I’ve been hosting my pics (well, Anton’s mostly) on another site and linking them over, but as you could probably tell, the text and pictures don’t line up very well. So I’m gonna stick all the pictures at the bottom of each post, and you can click on them to see the big version. How Handy!

Back to the topic… we don’t really have a goal in mind, so we take a train to a small little fishing town/village/thing. We walk around the pier for a bit. They have really nasty bugs, cockroach-like, crawling everywhere. But it was nice to see the other side of the Pacific. Lots of fishermen on the pier too.

So we head back, and we see an onsen. Since Keith hasn’t been to one yet, we figure this would be a good opportunity. The onsen is basically on the roof of this building, and consists of only two baths! It’s way uncool compared to the one Uncle Masa took us to. But still ok I guess. Nearly everyone is basically heading out when we get there, so we got the baths to ourselves. The inside one was very hot, the outside one was a lot cooler, and quite nice with the rain again… As we get out, a big group starts coming in… I still don’t know if that was Gaijin Perimeter in action, but it’s possible…

Two other interesting points, one of the other men was smoking in the locker room. People smoke everywhere here, it’s very different from Calgary, where there’s tons of rules about it. Also, as we were leaving (and after we got dressed luckily), a cleaning lady comes into the locker room… while there’s naked guys inside… and where she can fully see the baths. I had read about this (Dave Barry again), but it’s still really weird to see.

Another tangent coming up, since I mentioned Dave Barry. Carin actually mentioned this at training week, I doubt anyone remembers, but here’s how to interpret what a Japanese person is saying and what they actually mean.

What They Say and What They Mean

	What They Say	What They Mean
	I see.	No.
	Ah.	No.
	Ah-hah.	No.
	Yes.	No.
	That is difficult.	That is completely impossible.
	That is very interesting.	That is the stupidest thing i ever heard.
	We will study your proposal.	We will feed your proposal to a goat.

Ok, back on topic. We go for lunch at a very Japanese restaurant. We order different kinds of fish, mine was rather sweet surprisingly. We also got mochi udon, which was pretty good, but a lot of food for me. I gave some away. Then we went exploring in the rain, walked for a good 20 minutes, hit a dead end, and walked all the way back. We took the train back to Wakayama and wander around a bit more. Eventually we go for dinner at a Chinese place, and then get lost on the way back to the train station. We arrive just in time to get our train, and take a long, uneventful ride home… I think I’m missing a lot, but I can’t remember. I had fun though.

Oh yeah, we passed by a beach with surfing while we were on the train. I definitely want to try that out this summer.

I Never Made a Mistake in My Life. I Thought I Did Once, but I was Wrong.

So I guess onto the work week a bit? Hmm, well, interesting things to blog about… another 2h meeting on Monday. I love the 2 hour meetings on Mondays, they’re very productive. Interesting to note is that you can crack your knuckles very loudly during the meeting without anyone caring. Also, my company has stretches every morning for 5 minutes… which I find a bit dumb, but oh well. I usually arrive halfway through and just follow along to the last minute.

Also, being bored allows me to challenge myself. With a sharp pencil I am able to write 12 lines of legible text in the space of one line on regular lined paper! I write small ><. I also doodle a lot. I got a set of pencil crayons free with my cell phone. You don’t get free pencil crayons in Canada. Oh, I also got paid! Not my full salary, cause I hadn’t worked a full month at cut-off time. But payday is payday, can’t complain. 420-en in taxes though, nice! I was worried it’d be a lot more. Hmm, what’s new around the dorm? I washed down the garbage can outside my room… Ly could smell it from his room, hadn’t been cleaned since before he got there. I have to clean the kitchen before Byron gets here, it’s not in the best shape at the moment. A trip to daiso is very necessary one of these days. Maybe on the weekend. I’m also feelin a bit homesick at this stage. With the time change it seems I don’t talk with you Canadians much anymore. And it’s not easy talking with people here (they don’t understand me); the people I talk to most I only see on the weekends. It’ll get better once I can speak better, I’ve been trying quite hard to study (at work), so hopefully it’ll all sink in soon. But you can help… by sending me presents! Or emails actually. Or just leave me some comments on my blog so I have something to laugh about during work. But don’t worry, I’m a bit homesick but I won’t get depressed. I’d hate to be the cause of a Shoe Event Horizon or anything. Certain Death… That Will Kill You!


So yeah, big plans in the next month. First, Gion Matsuri (Gion Festival) is coming up in July. From what I heard, the festivities take place throughout July, with the big parade on July 17th. I think a lot of people are coming down from Tokyo and the Kanto region, so it should be a lot of fun.

I also get a 5 day weekend at the very end of July. I think it’s a company thing, nobody else I’ve talked to gets it. And it’s not listed as a national holiday or anything. I’m thinking of maybe going down to Tokyo for the weekend, since I haven’t seen it yet (Stupid missing Canada Day, but not worth going down for one night). The only downside is the weekend before is a one day weekend. But I can live with that!

During Obon Week in August I’m considering going down to Okinawa. It’d be a lot of fun, but a little pricy. But probably worth it overall. Then the next weekend (if I can get the Saturday off work) is the Mt. Fuji climb. I’m heading down Friday night, should get there after midnight sometime. We’re going to Fuji-Q Highland, which is one very cool looking amusement park. I’ve seen videos of it (I’m a fan of Amazing Race, if you saw the last season, they went there on the finale), looks pretty intense I must say.

What else is there to mention? Hmm, I’m thinkin of getting a new camera. The ones here are quite impressive, big screens, tiny, good quality, so it’s probably worth it for the 9 more months I’m here. I also really need some speakers for my laptop. But I just got paid, so shopping spree! Wooooooo! Nah, gotta be careful on spending too much, gotta save for Tokyo/Fuji/Okinawa.

Well, time for me to end this blog, I must study my Japanese. I’ve been reading over grammar and vocab, as well as studying Kanji online. It really helps if you can come up with creative ways to remember what the symbols are. Sometimes I feel I’m a little too creative… but whatever works.

Dave also gave me two books dealing with Kansai dialect. One of the books has some unusual phrases to learn. Along with a complete chapter on smack talk ("He’s got a fat [arse]"), but a chapter on phrases related to love, including "I wonder if I’m pregnant" and "My son eloped with the girl next door". There’s a lot, lot weirder too, if you want a list, email me I guess?

And due to popular request, here’s the picture of the attractive policewoman: